Are sports careers like video games?
It’s important to remember that what is challenging for some people (for example, for me, mental maths is very challenging!) is easypeasy for other people and vice-versa. Even within your teams you might know that someone is amazing at defending, but finds shooting much more tricky, or somebody else might feel very anxious if they had to take a penalty. Everyone is different and has their own set of strengths, and also things that they find harder.
The key is having the confidence to take on a challenge, and the resilience to get through it, and bounce-back afterwards (even stronger than before!)
If you’re looking for an inspirational athlete who never gave up (despite facing several horrendous situations when he was young)- check out the Irish gymnast Keiran Behan. Keiran had to have an operation to remove a benign tumour in his leg when he was only 10yrs old. Doctors thought he would never walk again. Undeterred, Keiran got back to gymnastics training, only to fall off a high bar and hit his head when he was 12. Keiran had brain damage from his fall, and had to spend three years in a wheelchair, and re-learn how to do all the basic movements such as sitting up, and moving his neck. Unbelievably, despite all of these set-backs, Keiran persevered and believed in himself and his potential. He went on to compete at world championships, Olympic games, and is now the head junior coach of gymnastics in Austria. What a legend.
As you can see from Keiran’s story, sometimes sports careers can appear a bit like a video game, where there are loads and loads of challenges thrown in front of the athletes- and in order to progress to the next level or to become world class, they need to conquer all of them.
However, before you think that that’s a great reason to chill on the sofa for hours addicted to ‘MineCraft’ or ‘Fortnite’...think again! Video games & online games do not realistically replicate challenges in real life.
I can already imagine a few of you reading this are ready to start arguing the case for online gaming being awesome!
BUT...playing a game like Fortnite or Call of Duty on the playstation or computer is NO WHERE NEAR as fantastic for building resilience, as playing your sport!
In online games, you can just press reset if you start losing, you can reduce the difficulty level if you perceive it to be too challenging, or even press pause if you just want a break!
In Mario Kart, if you drive past a white star, you become invincible for a while, or a green mushroom will give you an extra “life”.
You can get instant rewards and win without being a good team player in these games, buy extra credits or points instead of earning them, score goals in FIFA without training hard on the pitch and in the gym, and if you don’t win, you can just repeat the game until you do.
There’s a neurotransmitter (chemical messenger) in our brains called dopamine- and whenever we get something that we like, it gets released. Dopamine is VERY addictive, and this is why our brains seek out ways to get immediate satisfaction, in order to release more dopamine to make us feel good. Dopamine can be obtained from easy wins on online games, “likes” on instagram or TikTok, or “friend” requests online, but it would be much better to get your “feel-good factor” from actually being with friends or family, and doing activities and sports in real life (which are better for your physical and mental health).
Computer games and phones give us easy dopamine doses, but it’s not real, and it won’t help us to be resilient. In fact, it will make it harder for us, because success in sport (and life) is not instaneous, and is very rarely easy.
In sport, you just have to keep training, keep practicing, keep trying your best no matter what challenges you might face.
No one has ever played in the premier league without thousands of hours of focused training.
No one has ever won a World Cup without overcoming challenges and bouncing back from adversity.
No one has ever won an Olympic medal without making massive sacrifices, and extraordinary efforts to train to be the world’s best.
So get stuck into your sports, and know that everything you do, and every challenge you face through your sporting career, is helping you to develop loads of really important skills for life; like team work, determination, diligence and resilience.
So that you can achieve anything you want to!
Inspiring resilient athletes:
An amazing story of resilience this month, comes from the Afganistan girls’ football team. The girls were too vulnerable and in immense danger in their home country, which was recently taken over by a group called the Taliban. The Taliban wouldn’t allow girls to play sport (or even go to school), which we can all agree, is outrageous, and totally unfair.
Imagine being in a country where they don’t allow sport or education, it makes me feel very fortunate to have grown up safely in England and had lots of opportunities to try different sports. I think we all sometimes need a reality check, to remind us to feel grateful for the enormous privilege that we have.
The girls have been so brave throughout the ordeal. After going into hiding from the Taliban in Afganistan, they were then offered a month of asylum in Pakistan (asylum means a safe place to live for people fleeing their own country) , before travelling to another country far, far away in order to safely play their sport and pursue their dreams.
The country they’ve come to is England! All the girls and their families were kindly offered support, new homes, new schools and new football teams with Leeds AFC development squads. It was an amazing international operation to help the girls find a safe place to play sport, and hopefully now they will all feel happy and safe to play the sport that they love, despite being very far from home.
The Afganistan girls’ football team are a great inspiration and reminder to us to be brave, strong and resilient, in the face of tough challenges, and that staying together as a team, can make scary and overwhelming circumstances a lot easier to face and overcome.
For more inspiration, check out these amazingly resilient athletes and sporting superstars...
Fran Kirby
Fran Kirby, who many consider amongst the greatest female football players of all time, is a fantastic example of amazing resilience. Fran demonstrated huge mental strength to overcome numerous hurdles and massive challenges early in her football career. She kept playing football following bereavement of her mum when she was just 14years old, which must have been so so hard.
Fran endured months of depression, illness and injury in her early career, even overcoming a potentially life threatening condition called pericarditus (see youtube link). However, like a true champion, she used these set-backs to spur her on, to become even stronger and an even better player.
Fran plays striker for England and Chelsea, and some refer to her as the “female Messi*” due to her silky skills and speed. Fran has achieved greatness in the Champions League, Premiership, Olympics, World Cups and will be going to the Euros in 2022 this summer in England! She is Chelsea’s all time leading goalscorer, last week she scored her 100th goal! What a superstar!
Tom Daly is another fantastic role model who demonstrated huge resilience from a very young age. Tom was selected for the GB squad for diving in the London 2012 Olympics, aged just 14!
As sometimes happens to elite superstars, Tom was bullied at school (probably because other people were jealous of his achievements). The bullying was evidently very tough for Tom to endure, but he came through it, and even spoke out about the bullying he suffered to the media to raise awareness, and to promote Childline (a free service where young people can ring for support).
Tom proved that he had the mental strength of an Olympian by rising above all of the abuse and bullying, to become a world class athlete, achieving so much success and multiple Olympic medals and world championship victories. He has inspired new generations of athletes to start diving, and to reach their athletic potential.....and he even made knitting cool in the Tokyo Olympics!
Tom has his own instagram page :@knittedwithlovebytomdaly in which he posts pictures of his knitted products. Tom auctioned his GB Olympics cardigan and raised huge funds for Brain Tumour research, in memory of his Dad. What an amazing, inspirational athlete. It’s great to see people using their sporting success for good causes and to help others.
A really inspiring sports documentary to watch is called “Rising Phoenix” and shows the stories of many paralympic athletes, such as an athlete who gets injured in a landmine (a bomb that go off when they are stepped on) and goes on to compete in amputee events, and a fencer called who continued to fence despite losing her limbs. Watching paralympians is massively humbling, and makes me really appreciate having full use of my body.
Team Brave’s resilience tips!
How can I have better bounce back-ability?
So how can I feel less sad if I lose?
Losing is a big part of sport, and sometimes it is totally out of our control. It’s really vital to learn how to lose like a champion, as well as to win. Every single world champion or world class athlete has lost matches, underperformed in races, or at sometime missed a critical shot or messed up in a key moment of a game.
To deal with losing, it can be helpful to remember that it’s not always your fault.
Sometimes losing can be subjective (that means that it’s an opinion, rather than fact), for example judges in an iceskating competition might judge a certain routine as better than another athlete, based on their opinion and perception.
Sometimes losing can be dictated by a decision by a referee, who made the best decision that they could, but perhaps it was not the decision that we agreed with. An umpire in tennis might call a serve “out” when we feel it was in, or a referee in rugby might give a free kick when we don’t agree that a foul was commited. Whatever happens, the important thing, is how we react to other people’s decisions.
You have the power to reframe losing, or losses in your mind.
Instead of seeing a lost match as a sign that you are a failure (which you’re not) – change it in your mind, to see it as a chance to improve your game, as a way to learn new things, and an opportunity to become stronger mentally and physically.
If your team loses a rugby game, perhaps it’s a sign that there is a way to defend better, to work together better in your scrums, to pass the ball more effectively, or to design new tactics.
Amazing teams, use losses to bounce back stronger, and with an ever greater desire to perform better.
If someone makes me feel sad, what can I do to feel better?
Sometimes when we’re playing sport, both our teammates or the opposition can make us feel upset. Often this can occur in the match, and is due to competitive spirit, as opposed to anything personal. It can help to understand the feelings of the other person, in order to understand why they might have acted in the way they did.
For example, in a hockey match, if the opposition shouts something unkind to you, think about what emotions they might have been feeling? Are they frustrated that they are losing? Are they trying to make you lose your cool by saying something to antagonise you? Or is it just something they’ve said or done without thinking of the impact or consequences?
It can help to realise, that a great deal of what people say or do, is projection of their own feelings or insecurities. (Projection is a term used by psychologists to explain how someone might transfer their own feelings of anger/anxiety/insecurity onto somebody else).
So try not to take it too personally, keep calm, and carry on playing. If it has really made you sad, you might want to try to discuss it with the person themself to explain how you feel, or if that is too tricky, talk it through with your coach or teacher, who can help you to resolve the issue.
What can I do if I’m being bullied?
Bullying is horrible, and should never be tolerated on any level. Bullying often happens because the bully themself has been bullied, or because they themselves feel insecure, so they feel a need to bring others down to feel better.
Bullying can have awful long term effects and trauma, and so really needs to be stamped out as soon as possible.
In New Zealand, bullying of elite sports players or successful people is known as “Tall Poppy Syndrome”, in that “shorter poppies” will try to be mean to the “tall poppy” because they are jealous of their success. Dan Carter (one of the greatest rugby players of all time, who had an amazing career as an Allblack), was a victim of Tall Poppy Syndorme, but used his resilience to overcome it all, and achieve international success. It can be so tough to overcome bullying, so be sure to reach out to somebody you trust if you feel like you need support.
If you have any other questions that you’d like to fire at Team Brave, or if you’re interested in receiving some online mentoring / coaching- just drop us an email: teambrave.uk@gmail.com
